Context and Communication
Almost daily, my father will say “Tata (Grandfather in Tamil) is trying to do some work,” to my daughter who will follow him around - especially when he’s on the phone or trying to send emails on his ipad!
Every time he says this, I can’t help but exclaim, “She doesn’t have any conception of what work means! How do you expect her to understand?”
It got me thinking as to how this isn’t just applicable to a young child, but to all of us. One of the reasons why communication can be so challenging is that our understanding of words, and the associations it may bring up for us, can differ drastically.
Bringing up the word “work” can cause some to feel excited, fulfilled and energetic. For others, it may bring upon an instant headache and anxiety, and of course there is the entire spectrum in between!
In order to help someone understand how we interpret something requires context in a way they will understand. Just labelling something and expecting immediate buy-in is rare. Rather, when we offer (unprompted!) the reasoning as to why we are stating or expressing something, it helps the other person to see as we do. It’s akin to putting your arm around someone and gently moving them to see your perspective.
It doesn’t mean they will change their own understanding and interpretation, but it may definitely help to expand it.
I’d like to once again stress the importance of offering context in a way the other person will understand. Unaware that hot items can potentially burn or hurt her, in the beginning we would say “Hot, hot!” to our daughter in hopes she wouldn’t touch the item. It didn’t do much! Rather, it just fuelled her curiosity more!
When we changed our approach and incorporated movement, (i.e. putting our hand out and removing it back quickly) she would stop in her tracks and watch us with great interest.
Now, whenever something is hot, she’ll often be the first one to smile and sweetly shake her hand to us indicating, “Watch out!” What it took was tapping into one of the ways she absorbs information to help her understand.
How can you better provide context to the people in your life so that communication can flow more easily?